Rob Cross, the 2018 world champion, has been through a tumultuous year, both on and off the oche. Despite his recent 3-1 second-round win against Ian White at the world championship, Cross has been grappling with a myriad of challenges that have tested his mental and emotional resilience. In a candid interview, Cross shared his struggles with mental health, his experiences, and how they have impacted his life and career.
Mental Health Struggles
Cross's journey to self-discovery began with a visit to a children's hospital in Cologne, where he was confronted with the harsh realities of life. The experience had a profound impact on him, making him realize the importance of perspective and gratitude. "You see what people are going through, and it puts life in perspective for people whose lives are sort of OK," he said. "Whose kids are OK. Sometimes we have to find a bit of good. It made me realize how lucky I am in life. There's always someone out there going through something worse than what you're going through. That's why you need to talk."
For Cross, talking has been a therapeutic outlet, allowing him to confront his demons and share his story with others. He hopes that by speaking out, he can help others who may be struggling with similar issues.
"I've suffered with it a long time before darts. We all get low, and we grow up thinking to ourselves that we should be stronger. That you can't show that side. And that's where I'm at. I'm guilty of not expressing myself to the people that I trust with my life. Anyone who wants to help, you need to speak up. It's going to eat you away eventually."
A Year of Nightmares
The past year has been particularly challenging for Cross, with a string of disappointments and setbacks. He had a poor Premier League season, dropping from No 4 in the world to No 20, and failed to make the quarter-finals at any major tournament. Additionally, he entered into an Individual Voluntary Arrangement over unpaid taxes of more than £450,000, and his long-time manager, Rob Bain, was hospitalized. These cumulative pressures have taken a toll on Cross's mental health, making it difficult for him to find the motivation to practice and compete.
Searching for Himself
Despite his struggles on the oche, Cross has been on a journey of self-discovery, trying to find himself and rediscover his passion for the sport. He has been open about his experiences with ADHD and has been experimenting with medication to manage his condition. However, he recently stopped taking his medication, opting instead to focus on his mental well-being and finding a sense of clarity. "I just thought I'm better off being mates with the person inside rather than trying to shut him off, no emotions," he explained. "I feel OK. It brings the hyperness out instead of trying to lock it away. I think I'm fixed. I just can't switch off, so we need to sort that out."
A Glimmer of Hope
Despite the challenges he faces, Cross remains optimistic about his future in darts. He is focused on enjoying the festive season with his four children and is looking forward to his next match against Damon Heta. "If I'd have lost today, it would have been a miserable Christmas," he admitted. "Would have gone home and sulked like a big baby. Now I get to enjoy Christmas with my babies. It'll mean the world to me."
As Cross navigates the complexities of his career and personal life, he is aware of the importance of finding a balance between his mental health and his competitive ambitions. He recognizes that darts has given him a platform to express himself and connect with others, but also acknowledges the pressures and stresses that come with competing at the highest level.
For Cross, the journey ahead will be challenging, but he is determined to find a way forward, one that balances his competitive ambitions with his mental well-being. As he looks to the future, he remains focused on the present, taking things one match at a time, and finding solace in the sport that has given him so much. "The biggest thing for me is when I enjoy it," he said. "When I light that buzz. Hit that shot, under scrutiny. Feel the adrenaline. The money won't change my life. Nothing could change my life. But winning this is the pinna."
Original: The Guardian
Image: The Guardian
Written by Npsports
